Something new

Well, I guess 'some new things' would be more accurate. I started a job, a student job, but a job none the less. I think my parents nearly peed themselves in excitement. I believe they think that I'm serious when I say I plan to be a bum with a shopping cart and a library card. The work is easy and fairly repetitive and it's only thirteen hours a week.

In other news, I feel like I haven't written a decent poem in months. I've scraped out two that I think will pass as 'not utter garbage.' I've been doing a lot more self editing, cutting extra things out. Sometimes, I find it hard to find the balance between 'too wordy' and 'too bare.'

I haven't written any decent stories either. Janice is waiting to be edited but I'm afraid to open the file and mess it up. It doesn't matter that it's saved to my computer. Honestly, I don't know how I wrote it in the first place, let alone how to make it better. And I can't move on to another story until I wrap up this one because the voices will get mixed up.

I can't even properly write flash fiction. How am I supposed to fill up half a page? I have to be careful and choose my words wisely. What do I want to convey with this story? Is it a waste of space? I will admit that I'm intimidated by people reading my work. Fiction is my soft spot. I'll let someone read books and books of my old poetry before I'll let them lay a finger on one of my old story journals. I have equal love for both poetry and fiction, I just know my fiction is more likely to be torn apart. It doesn't matter how old I am, I still feel awkward writing about adult things and I think that awkwardness gets transferred to my writing.

I'm also distracted because I want to draw very badly. My grammar notebook is already filling up with doodles and I feel guilty. I really am paying attention, but I know it doesn't look like I am. Anyways, I have ideas for two different comics. I have two pages on smackjeeves set up for when I have time to do the art. I might put the links up then. Maybe.