Responsibility?

I'm not entirely sure what it is about me that people automatically assume that I'm a responsible leader. I don't think I am. I don't have enough guts to be the best leader. The IR I can handle. It's my baby. PC, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm going to have to buckle down. We'll need two service projects and we'll have to raise money. I've always hated doing that kind of stuff. I feel like other people are more capable of that than I am. I had somebody come up to me today and ask me to be president of GSA. I think a lot of people aren't involved in it because of Amayne. They think he isn't a good image for the club and a lot of people find him abrasive and to radical. I'm not going to run for president but I might vote for someone else. Kate would be a good one. I believe she has a lot of good ideas. 

I have a lot of plans for the IR. I think that we need to start the semester off with events and fliers. We need to make this magazine the best that it can be. It can do well. 

On another note, I've always wanted to dye my hair a funky color. I think I'm going to get blue highlights in it. I think that it will look cool and it would make me smile. I'll have to ask Heather about it and see what she thinks.

I want to start my life with Rose but I can't yet. I won't be able to for at least a year and a half. Until it happens I'm going to have to start planning. By planning I mean be a lot more careful with my money and do lots of research on grad schools. I need to continue to write and send out. I also need to finish Janice and get her sent out. I'm going to need money if I'm going to help support a family. I plan on selling my extra amplifier and my extra guitar this summer. I might take my old bridemaid's dress to the consignment shop too. This summer will probably be pretty tight for me. I don't know. I'm not getting paid anything to house sit the last time I checked. In fact, if I use to much AC I'll have to pay for it. I'm lucky I'm used to the heat. I want my writing to be my job this summer. That's why I'm praying that I win that one contest. I'll need to money. It will also let me know that I'm moving in the right direction with my poetry. We'll see. I can live a pretty minimal lifestyle when I have to.

I know I can do it and I know that I can get a job if I absolutely have to. I just need to have the summer away from Independence. I need to know for myself that I can live on my own. I also need to make sure that I can get my medicine when I need it. I have to do this. 

I think that I'm done rambling for now. Until later.